Why You're Still Single

Posted by Jordyne

The four of us were having a conversation the other day, just being honest with each other about the doubts that linger in our minds. Laura told me I should share my conclusion with you all.

Maybe the biggest question that single people wrestle with is:

Why am I single?

Every single person knows how to answer this question, even if they never voice it:
“I’m too shy”

“I’m ugly”

“I’m too needy”

“I’m fat”

“I have zero sense of humor.”

“I’m not girly enough”

“I’m a control freak”

The problem is, all of those answers are wrong. This is the realization I came to during our conversation. 

Side note: I’ve told people multiple times the reason that I’m single is because that’s what God has chosen to give me. I know in my head that’s true, but sometimes my heart forgets.

As we were talking I kept thinking, what are the odds that all four of us are still single? Well, I did some serious research (read: Google search) and found that the percentages are anywhere between 22-51%. So, by those incredibly precise studies, at least one or two of us “should” be married by now, right? 

Wrong. It’s not odds or statistics at all. It’s God.

Even if you are happy in your singleness, I think everyone has that nagging doubt at one point or another. I know that's true for me at least. 

Then I had this moment of clarity.  The fact that all four of us are unmarried proves to me that the only reason we are single is because that is what God has for us, and it is good. He only gives us good gifts.

I question what kind of marriage material I am, but I know exactly what a catch Sarah, Rachel, and Laura are. If my flaws were the reason I’m single, then I would be the only one among us unmarried, and the other three would have been hitched by now. But they’re not. As Laura said in our chat, “we are reassured of our normalcy by our mutual singleness”. I love how she put that. We are each single by God’s beautiful design. Maybe that’s his design for our whole lives, or maybe some or all of us will get married in the future. God only knows. But what I do know with certainty is that your flaws are not the reason you are single. You are single because that is your portion and grace from God right now.