Easy Way or Hard Way?

Posted by Jordyne

I have a four year old niece named Ari. She has long, bright blonde hair and absolutely hates having it brushed. It’s a battle every single time. My sister has a “system” for this, which is to ask Ari if she wants to do it the easy way or the hard way. Easy way is Ari sits calmly while Jaclyn slowly brushes her hair. Hard way is Jaclyn wrangles her with one arm, and brushes out the tangles with the other. Ari usually protests at first, but as soon as Jaclyn says “Easy way or hard way?! You choose!” she eventually decides to do it the easy way. I’m not so wise. In my life, I almost always choose the hard way.

It is difficult for me to learn life lessons second-hand. I rarely learn from other people’s mistakes, or other people’s advice. I wish I did. I’m sure it would have saved me some pain. For some reason, it’s not enough for you to tell me that the fire is hot, I have to blister my finger to get the idea. I often joke that my spiritual gift is making things more difficult than they need to be.

By God’s grace, there is one lesson that I fully grasped without having to experience it first hand. The lesson is this: Marriage won’t fill the hole in your heart. Marriage will not cure your loneliness or insecurities. In some (maybe all? I wouldn’t know) cases, it magnifies them. Maybe this post will help you learn this lesson the easy way too.

A long time ago, I heard Matt Chandler tell women that the loneliness that comes from being in an unhappy marriage is far more painful than the loneliness you can feel as a single person. And even though I’ve never been married, in that moment, I knew without a doubt it was true. Years later, I still think about those words. Any time I’m tempted to believe that marriage would be better than singleness right now, I remember that there is a more trying alternative.

Proper perspective is powerful. It made me grateful that I am not in a situation where I would have to experience that kind of loneliness. It made me feel so loved and cherished and safely guarded that God has not allowed me to have that story. Does that make sense? I don’t know. It makes sense to my heart. Me and God’s relationship is like that a lot. His love is communicated to me the loudest in the midst of pain (or in this case, potential pain).

I do want to say, though,  if you are in an unhappy marriage, that does not mean that God does not love, cherish and guard you. He just does it in a different way. He’s given you a different grace than he’s given me, and he will speak his love to you in the way you will hear it best.

God's people in the Bible also seemed to choose the hard way most often. Rachel pointed out this verse to me once that just sums it up so well:

This is what the Sovereign lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it. 

-Isaiah 30:15 NLT

God very literally offered them the easy way, and they said "Nah. We're Good." So I guess I'm not the only one, but yikes! My prayer is that this one lesson I learned the easy way is the first of many. 

Do you learn the easy way or the hard way? What’s a lesson that’s stuck with you?

I don't have a plan, do you?

Posted by Rachel

I love story.  Story can consumes me.  As an adult, I have had to discontinue reading the books I love because I can't put the story down until I know how it ends.  I love televisions shows because they have ongoing story.  I love movies because they can speak truth about a particular story in a particular moment in time. 

One of our favorite TV shows for a while was Friends, the story of six friends from their mid-20's to their mid-30's and how they cope with life together during those years.  How they live, love, fight and grow together during those years.  Its a comedy but in the middle of the humor is serious truth about life.  

Four to five episodes into the series, there is an episode where Rachel who hadn't worked a day in her life before this show started gets her very first pay check as a waitress and realizes how hard it is to live on it.  She goes into this deep slump of frustration and brings her two girlfriends into it with her.  In this scene Rachel looks at Phoebe, who has been working since her early teens, and asks her "Phoebe, do you have a plan for your life?" and Phoebe in a humorous and tearful moment responds with, "I don't even have a Pl"(Pronounced pla).

We have taken this on and said this to each other over the years. In moments of frustration about our lives after the rant, we look at each other and say "I don't even have a PL," and then smile at each other knowing we can continue, even without the plan. 

I feel like the last five years I have said this a lot. As we face Christmas and the New Year it is yet again the time to think over the last year and contemplate the new.  How have I changed, how is my life different, what do I want to be different next year.  Each year I feel like nothing has changed, I'm still in the same spot, I'm still single, I still work at a job, unsettled in a career, I still dream like I am 13 and sometimes act like it too, still answering the same old questions the relatives ask year after year.  

But then I take another good look and realize a lot has changed.  I have changed more than I can imagine.  And even though I still don't really have a "PL" for my life, God knows the plans he has for me. 

So this year I choose to speak truth over my life and courageously act upon it.  I choose to love deeper.  I choose to give more of myself.  I choose to continue to smile and say hello to strangers in the grocery store.  I choose to read more.  I choose to seek more counsel.  I choose to love making phone calls.  I choose to grow.  I choose to submit myself, to God, to wise leaders and to others that care.  I choose to live my story and not just dream about it.  I choose to fail sometimes, but always try again.  I choose to humble myself to allow God to work HIS great PLAN in my life, because even though I don't have a PL for my life, God does.  He has a Plan and He has the Story set out for me. 

Merry Christmas everyone, Christ is Born, that I may have life and LIVE it abundantly.  

Confession #12: I constantly struggle with the concept and action of waiting.

Posted by Sarah

I feel that Christmas Eve is the most appropriate time to share this confession. These are the days that I have been anticipating since last Christmas! Yes, I haven’t grown out of my love for Christmas. I hardly sleep because of the excitement…this morning I woke up 4:35 (no, I didn't get out of bed then, just wide awake!). That excitement comes from a year of waiting for this season!

I've never been a good wait-er. I vividly remember a Christmas Eve when I was 6 or 7 where I got so excited my Dad had to sit me down and remind me that Christmas wasn't about me, but about Jesus. I knew the truth, but got caught up in the excitement of having what I was waiting for come to fruition.

It’s hard to wait. Most people view waiting as a passive thing, but I have come to see it as an action; and not an easy action at that! It takes courage, hope, joy, strength, commitment and community to wait well. This is true across the board; whether you are waiting for Christmas, school to start again, a future spouse, children, a job, retirement, vacation, healing, or (you name it…).

Psalm 62:5-8 says, “Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.  O my people, trust in Him at all time. Pour out your heart to Him for God is our refuge.”

These are words of comfort and challenge. There are quite a few things that I am waiting for in my life, many are on the list I wrote above and I will confess, it’s not easy to wait well. I too often make waiting about me, about what I want, about what I don’t have. I completely forget to trust in Him at all times, to rest in that fact that He is my rock and my salvation, to remember that He is my refuge and no enemy can reach me.

So this Christmas Eve, a day when waiting is ever present on my mind…I pause to remember who I wait on. I wait on God, my creator, my redeemer, my savior and friend. I trust in Him with my whole heart, even when that is very difficult to do. I remember what Jesus did for me when He came as a baby who later died for my sins and the sins of all. The one who has called me to this place and to love those He has put in my life. That is what active waiting looks like - trusting God and living/loving well.

I pray that as you celebrate, you would join with me in quietly, actively waiting before God.

Merry Christmas.

Liberation of Less

Posted by Laura

When I was preparing to leave America for Germany, I knew that I would not be able to take everything with me. I had a bed, a futon, a dining table and chairs, a papasan, and three bookshelves filled with over two hundred and fifty books - not to mention my closet overfilled with Toms shoes and cardigans. The furniture and clothes weren't terribly hard to get rid of, though I felt a little more like I was parting with pieces of my soul as I sold books back to Powell's, the greatest bookstore on the planet. One day as I unloaded two bags full of books at the book buyer's desk, I was explaining to the woman examining them that I was culling all my possessions to fit into three suitcases as I moved overseas. My goal was to leave next to nothing at my parents (though I did end up spreading out a few boxes of books among my friends for safekeeping because I couldn't bear to part with too many).

"Isn't it liberating?" She asked.

"Yeah," I responded with a rush of enthusiasm for someone who finally got it.

"Yeah, a few years back, I tried to do something similar. I don't own anything more than I can fit in my car so I can pick up and move anywhere anytime. It just feels great to have so much less."

I totally understood what she was saying when I stood there still holding on to loads of my books and possessions though I would have serious struggles in the coming weeks as my diminishing possessions gave me an increasing sense of rootlessness. I was untethered by things which, yes, was liberating, but also a little frightening.

Actually getting down to three suitcases was tough. It was even tougher emotionally when Sarah saw the three suitcases and bluntly told me, "Oh, honey, we're getting this down to two," the night before I moved to Germany. Five hours and a trip to Target later, I was repacked with everything I would own in Europe in two checked bags, a duffel, and a backpack. Emotions would get even higher at the airport when the duffel had to be left behind with a few items shoved into the other suitcases and backpack.

Not surprisingly, it didn't take me long to accumulate loads of useless items - as well as some very necessary items like my $60 mattress that feels like a dream. It's just stuff though. Except for a few books and gifts, I could bear to part with everything and survive just fine. The conversation with the book buyer at Powell's years ago gave me a twinge of rootlessness, but now, I realize the roots aren't in things anyways. The roots I have in Portland will forever be rooted though not always in Portland; they are people. People are my roots across the globe no matter where I live, so my things don't really matter and needn't keep me any place in particular. I really want to hold on to that freedom that I can pack up everything I own in two suitcases and move anywhere. A coworker in the states told me before I left that she was so happy for my upcoming adventure and slightly jealous that she couldn't ever do that because she was married.

As Mimi sings in Rent, "I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine." I don't think this lifestyle locks me into singleness, and I don't think that being married chains me to a location. Loads of couples and families have moved here to Germany or other locations for reasons similar to mine. At the moment, though, I'm just embracing the liberation of less.

Why You're Still Single

Posted by Jordyne

The four of us were having a conversation the other day, just being honest with each other about the doubts that linger in our minds. Laura told me I should share my conclusion with you all.

Maybe the biggest question that single people wrestle with is:

Why am I single?

Every single person knows how to answer this question, even if they never voice it:
“I’m too shy”

“I’m ugly”

“I’m too needy”

“I’m fat”

“I have zero sense of humor.”

“I’m not girly enough”

“I’m a control freak”

The problem is, all of those answers are wrong. This is the realization I came to during our conversation. 

Side note: I’ve told people multiple times the reason that I’m single is because that’s what God has chosen to give me. I know in my head that’s true, but sometimes my heart forgets.

As we were talking I kept thinking, what are the odds that all four of us are still single? Well, I did some serious research (read: Google search) and found that the percentages are anywhere between 22-51%. So, by those incredibly precise studies, at least one or two of us “should” be married by now, right? 

Wrong. It’s not odds or statistics at all. It’s God.

Even if you are happy in your singleness, I think everyone has that nagging doubt at one point or another. I know that's true for me at least. 

Then I had this moment of clarity.  The fact that all four of us are unmarried proves to me that the only reason we are single is because that is what God has for us, and it is good. He only gives us good gifts.

I question what kind of marriage material I am, but I know exactly what a catch Sarah, Rachel, and Laura are. If my flaws were the reason I’m single, then I would be the only one among us unmarried, and the other three would have been hitched by now. But they’re not. As Laura said in our chat, “we are reassured of our normalcy by our mutual singleness”. I love how she put that. We are each single by God’s beautiful design. Maybe that’s his design for our whole lives, or maybe some or all of us will get married in the future. God only knows. But what I do know with certainty is that your flaws are not the reason you are single. You are single because that is your portion and grace from God right now.

Confessions

Posted by Sarah

I shall, from time to time, write confession posts; small truths about myself that may or may not be common knowledge. I will number them in no particular order to their significance but as a fun way to break the monotony that can occur when a list starts with the number one.

For example: Confession #13 I freaking LOVE Christmas!

Not just for the stockings and Santa and carols and presents and lights and joy but because, whether it is acknowledged or not, this is the season to celebrate Jesus, my savior, my best friend! I have great pity for those who don’t love Christmas and those who miss the point completely.

Another example: Confession #7 I HATE Chocolate!

Not just an “I prefer to eat things more than chocolate” but an all out “I feel nauseated when I smell chocolate and think people that do like chocolate are the ones who have a problem” hate. And I don’t use hate often or lightly.

Hopefully that will whet your appetite for the confession posts that will be coming your way in the future. In fact, I think I have one up my sleeve that I will post before Christmas – think of this as a teaser trailer! (Confession #22 Movies are a favorite hobby of mine.)

The Greatest Story Ever Told

Posted by Laura

When I was in a particularly rough patch of my life, Rachel, Sarah, and Jordy used to "kidnap" me regularly to go to the movie theater. We would watch whatever was playing as an escape from my problems and a bonding experience together. We'd go late at night, and there were rarely other people in the theater. We'd laugh loudly and have all kinds of fun - except for the time Jordy and I thought it would be a good idea to hide from Sarah and Rach while they were in the bathroom. Just imagine two of the biggest germaphobes on the planet laying down on a dirty theater floor for five minutes. The moment we touched the floor we realized it was a bad idea, but it was too late. We waited until our friends came back and laughed at our stupidity then we had to wait another two hours till the movie ended and we could shower - multiple times. As dirty as we felt through that particular film, we sat it out. We wanted to watch the movie.

We love the stories.

Everyone does; it's part of the human experience. C. S. Lewis said, "we demand windows" because we are so desperate to see the world through someone else's eyes and feel it with someone else's heart. Our imaginations are limited, and we long for great stories to take us away and return us to our lives with riches of understanding and empathy to live better in our bleak existences. Bear with me on my super nerdy lit major tangent for another sentence. Northrop Frye theorized that there are only four basic stories that are ever told. Everything is some combination or varied telling of one of these four archetypes.

When I watch movies or read books now, I can see loads of connections and allusions as they take different spins on staple plots. I can see the comedy or tragedy they borrowed from to make something new and interesting. Some creators are more successful than others. I had a great conversation with a student one day at lunch about this.

I'd told this kid before how much I love my job because I'm passionate about what I teach. She'd told me before it shows - which is the highest compliment I can receive from my students. I was helping her complete her study guide for an upcoming test, and one of the points on the study guide is "be able to experience the grandeur of God's grace" (I didn't write this, but I love this curriculum). Her initial response was something along the lines that God's grace is good because we can't follow the rules, so God helps us so we can follow the rules better.

"Wow, you make Christianity sound so boring," I responded.

She was a little put off, but I pushed her to notice the whole grandeur of God's grace is the relationship element. The story of Christianity is all about how God was so intent on finding a way to restore relationship with people that Love came down - the Word became flesh - self sacrificing Love conquered over death and made a way to restore relationship. This is absolutely the greatest story ever told. I couldn't help but spill to this student that lots of other stories try to imitate this greatest story. "Have you read Harry Potter?" "I've seen the movies," she replied. That's probably the most well known one these days - love conquers over death. Harry wouldn't have survived without self sacrificing love - twice. The other one that comes to my mind most readily is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I'm a big fan of Joss Whedon; I think he's a brilliant creator, but this storyline comes nowhere near the awesomeness of Christianity. At the end of season five, Buffy sacrifices herself to save the world (really she's mostly concerned with saving her sister). It's a nice gesture - and successful. However, Buffy is stuck in the grave at the start of season six. Her friends pull her out of an unknown dimension and put her back in her body so she can keep saving the world a couple more seasons. Not nearly as exciting as Jesus conquering death and the grave on his own just to unite humanity to the ultimate Creator.

I love that story. And I love that I get to teach it every day. I have the best job ever.

What You're In Danger of As a Single

Posted by Jordyne 

It would seem that the magical formula to getting a ton of hits on your blog is a list of some sort. I’ve been thinking a lot about what kind of list I would like to share with you all. There are so many options.  “10 Reasons Being Single is Awesome” just seemed a little too obvious. Maybe we’ll save that one for later. 

“22 Things Only Single People Will Understand”...Who do you think we are? Buzzfeed? Pass. 

“7 Things Single Women Want You to Stop Telling Them”. Just type into Google “things singles” and you’ll find that one of the top suggestions for how to finish that phrase is “...are tired of hearing.” That’s been thoroughly covered. Besides, many (not all) married people are uncomfortable enough around singles as it is. Having a list of what not to say running through their minds will only create more awkward silences. I’d rather have the authentic conversation than the tailored one...even if it is a bit off-putting at times.

What You’re Really in Danger of as a Single:

(No, “dying alone” is not on the list.)

1. Hiding. It’s a lot easier to do as a single person. Especially if you don’t have a roommate. When you don’t share your home with anyone, it’s easy to hide your struggles and character flaws, and as a result, it’s easy to miss out on iron-sharpening-iron opportunities if you’re not intentional about them. Seek out people in your life who will keep you from hiding. I think probably the easiest way to accomplish that is to have roommates, but it’s not for everyone. I don’t have roommates, and neither does Laura. But Rachel and Sarah both have roommates. I live alone, but I have made sure that I have lots of people who will call me out and be honest with me. 
2. Selfishness. Sure, everyone has selfish tendencies at times. But you’re less likely to be selfish if you have other people in your life that you’re responsible for besides yourself. You won’t go to the movies if you know it means your kids won’t have money for their field trip. Or you won’t use all the gas in the car if you know you’re husband has to drive across town for a meeting. I’m the one who gets to say how my time and money are spent, and if I’m not careful, it’s easy for me to spend both all on myself. Look for opportunities to give of your resources, especially to your church family. It’s always worth it. 
3. Impatience. This one gets me a lot. I’m a pretty spontaneous person, and being single makes that a whole lot easier. Everything happens faster when you are the only one making the decisions. On more than one occasion I have found myself frustrated with a friend telling me, “let me get back to you on that; I need to talk to my husband.” There is no one that I have to check with before I make a decision (except for if it’s a decision that I want to make after watching a movie...in that case I have to clear it with Sarah, Laura, and Rachel...but we’ll have to get into that later.) and sometimes it’s hard for me to appreciate the consideration. When you find yourself frustrated that it takes your friend a few hours to get back to you on whether or not they can take a day trip with you, remember that your buddy will have much more fun if they have the peace of mind from being on the same page as their spouse. Your trip will be more enjoyable as a result.

The greatest love affair

Posted by Rachel

As I have mentioned in other posts, a book on singleness has been something God has set on Laura and I's hearts for many years.  As a result of that dream we both have many articles on the subject lying around the desk top of our computers we have been writing for years.  We have even shared many of our writings with each other to critique and kick-start the process of writing.  They cover topics from weddings, to church, to sex, to ivory tours, etc.  I was reading through a compilation of many of my articles today that I had given to Laura at some point over the last 2 years and though many things stood out to me (from the fact that the blogging world isn't ready for most of my thoughts, to my writing overall needs a lot of editing) one of my articles really stood out to me because it was about my relationship with Jesus.

I know it was me writing but the way I talked about my relationship with Jesus in this snippet made me smile and get excited all over again about how in love with my Savior I am.  I became a believer when I was 5, so I have never really known life without Jesus.  Because of this sometimes(and by sometimes, unfortunately I probably mean 90% of the time) I take that relationship for granted.  This makes me sad because my relationship with Jesus is the most important relationship in my life.  I guess it goes back to the idea that those that know you and love you the most you often hurt the easiest and take for granted that they will always love and care for you.

Honestly, this makes my heart break.  My Savior is everything to me so when I realize how flippant I am with the incredible relationship I have with him, I want to mourn the loss of time with him.  I often think about Mary and Martha in the Bible.  Martha went to Jesus to complain that Mary wasn't helping with any of the work to make the meal, but Jesus' response was that Mary had chosen what was better, she had chosen to sit at the feet of Jesus, gaze upon him and listen with everything in her because she understood in that moment that Jesus was the most important relationship in her life.  She was going to invest no matter what.

I love Mary, only because I am Martha.  I love to serve, to do things for my Savior because I love to serve, but I long to sit at my saviors feet and gaze and listen.  I want to be David writing Psalms, called a man after God's own heart because David understood the power of time with his King.  That is my ultimate goal in life, to sit at my Saviors feet and gaze into his face as he speaks.  No matter where God takes me single, married, kids, no kids, in life and death to sit and gaze and listen intently to my Savior, my King.

This my friends, is the greatest Love affair of all time.

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us."

Singleness Blogs

Post by Rachel

I know we haven't broached the subject of dating too much  yet and I think its because its vastly overdone by anyone who writes anything on being single. As I was thinking about this subject, I was curious about what people were writing about who had blogs similar to ours, with the focus being on singleness and what I found was actually kind of boring.

First of all, blogs on singleness are vastly underdone.  I think I found a grand total about about 10 blogs(including ours) that were actually written on the subject of singleness.  Secondly, all the posts I read were primarily in diary form.  "Today I went to the store, talked to this boy and then came home to my lonely house were I cooked dinner and watched television while sitting all by my lonesome on the couch with no one to snuggle with.  Oh and in case you don't know I'm still single, what is wrong with all the people of the world and what is wrong with me?!?"

BOOORRRRIINNGGG!!!

No offense intended, but unless your days are actually different then mine, like your trying different restaurants and reviewing them or your microwave caught on fire(wait, that's been done), I really don't care.

Third, they complained about the fact that they were single, nothing had changed over a long period and their life was basically on hold until they found Mr. or Mrs. Right.  The blog was an outlet to complain about the fact that they were single and to bring anyone who reads it down with them, if they were miserable everyone else should be too.  None of that was said explicitly, but every blog I found had these basic ingredients.

Now here's the deal, I really want to get married, however, my life is not on pause until I find the man I'm going to marry, nor will I allow my life to be boring or negative until the supposed starting gun of life goes off when I say "I do".  As you know by now if you have been reading this blog at all, that we all love being single and we obviously feel its a subject that should be discussed so we started writing, but this is the first post where dating has been more of a central topic.

In response to those other blogs this is what I have to say.  I get it!! I want to date, I want to have someone I can snuggle with, go on trips with, go to parties with and not feel like the odd ball out and do all those other couply things with.  I totally get it!  I get that sometimes you have to tell the mundane story of your day to someone because you just need to get it out.  And I totally understand that sometimes you wonder what is wrong with every man(or woman) in the world that you are still single or you become self deprecating and wonder what is wrong with me.  I totally 100% absolutely understand!  I have said and felt all those things.

However, there is so much more to say than those boring mundane things.  Like what was the fun part of the holiday party as a single.  Or you had the opportunity to do something great because you didn't have to coordinate husband and/or kids schedules to do it.  You could get into your car and drive 1000 miles on whim cause who cares if you do.  Or even better is how has God blessed this part of your life that if you were to get married tomorrow would no longer be true.  How are you becoming the person that God wants you to be?  How have you served others well without being married?  And an infinite number of other questions.  Honestly, that's what I want to read about.

We hope and pray that this blog would be a ministry of God, not for our will to be served, but so that the glory of our God the king would be known through what we do and say here.  A place to be real and open and vulnerable about the pain of this stage of life and hopefully more often a place to express the joys of this stage of life.  There are so many joys!    No matter what stage of life you are in, go reflect on the joys and blessings, on whether God's glory is known in your life.  Its easier to think of the hardships and negative things, but that's no way to live.  Enjoy each moment and praise God for whatever stage you are in!

And don't drag other people down with you, nobody wants that!!

Expat Thanksgiving

Posted by Laura

North America is big on Thanksgiving - Canadians in October, Americans in November. Europe is not so much on the celebrating surviving harvest away from Europe... not sure what the deal is. Anyways, the expat community here is pretty big on Thanksgiving because it's kinda a hard reminder that we're all away from our families on one of the most family centered holidays in our passport countries. We almost over compensate - Thanksgiving is like a several week celebration as different groups gather and dorms provide feasts at some point between Canadian and American Thanksgivings. The Canadians put on a show for their special day, and the Americans host large meals somewhere from Thursday through Sunday of the last weekend of November.

It's all the more difficult for the singles here who are away from families and have to watch the family units gather together.

A couple girls in the community started their own Thanksgiving tradition five years ago by inviting several single staff to their home for a potluck dinner with a little Scripture and songs thrown in to remind us all why we left our families to begin with. I was able to join them this year again, and it was a great reminder for me why I love being in community with other people who love Jesus and love life.

I'll admit, the whole weekend was a little rough because we don't get any days off school since it's not a recognized holiday here, and I started an antibiotic on Friday that makes me feel a little queasy all the time. I almost considered bailing on the Saturday night Thanksgiving dinner because I was so sick, but I was also lonely. I spent the majority of the day binge watching Agents of SHIELD, and I'd turned down an invite to see Mockingjay in the original English so I'd have the social energy to interact politely with others. I shot a message to Sarah, Rachel, and Jordyne before I left for the dinner begging for prayer that I'd not feel too sick and, honestly, that I'd be able to work on building good relationships. Even though I've lived here a year, I still feel pretty disconnected from most of my coworkers - these other three women are my family, my crew, my besties, and I can share anything with them without filter.

Relationships of that depth take time - I won't jump into a double bed with three random strangers - only the three who have seen some of my life over a few years (and one of them might fall out in the night).

My Thanksgiving celebration turned out to be amazing, and I'm so grateful I made the effort and pushed through the nausea to go. I would have been remiss if I'd skipped out. I loved sitting around a table with other women in the same place in life as me sharing all kinds of anecdotes and laughing about random things.

Thanksgiving dinner naturally leads to days of leftovers, and tonight I was invited to a leftover dinner. It was a completely different and equally wonderful experience. One of my closest friends here in Germany is the mother of two high school students. Carol invited me over tonight, and I loved the chance to sit with her whole family and enjoy a casual meal together. After dinner, Carol's husband read a devotional for the start of Advent. It was a great family moment, one that happens most nights in their house, but I was so blessed to be a part of it. As a single person, I eat dinner alone most nights, and I'm usually thankful for that so I can eat my tomatoes and pasta without judgement from anyone else, but it's also nice to be a part of a family meal. There's something very special about sharing a meal with people you love.