What You're In Danger of As a Single

Posted by Jordyne 

It would seem that the magical formula to getting a ton of hits on your blog is a list of some sort. I’ve been thinking a lot about what kind of list I would like to share with you all. There are so many options.  “10 Reasons Being Single is Awesome” just seemed a little too obvious. Maybe we’ll save that one for later. 

“22 Things Only Single People Will Understand”...Who do you think we are? Buzzfeed? Pass. 

“7 Things Single Women Want You to Stop Telling Them”. Just type into Google “things singles” and you’ll find that one of the top suggestions for how to finish that phrase is “...are tired of hearing.” That’s been thoroughly covered. Besides, many (not all) married people are uncomfortable enough around singles as it is. Having a list of what not to say running through their minds will only create more awkward silences. I’d rather have the authentic conversation than the tailored one...even if it is a bit off-putting at times.

What You’re Really in Danger of as a Single:

(No, “dying alone” is not on the list.)

1. Hiding. It’s a lot easier to do as a single person. Especially if you don’t have a roommate. When you don’t share your home with anyone, it’s easy to hide your struggles and character flaws, and as a result, it’s easy to miss out on iron-sharpening-iron opportunities if you’re not intentional about them. Seek out people in your life who will keep you from hiding. I think probably the easiest way to accomplish that is to have roommates, but it’s not for everyone. I don’t have roommates, and neither does Laura. But Rachel and Sarah both have roommates. I live alone, but I have made sure that I have lots of people who will call me out and be honest with me. 
2. Selfishness. Sure, everyone has selfish tendencies at times. But you’re less likely to be selfish if you have other people in your life that you’re responsible for besides yourself. You won’t go to the movies if you know it means your kids won’t have money for their field trip. Or you won’t use all the gas in the car if you know you’re husband has to drive across town for a meeting. I’m the one who gets to say how my time and money are spent, and if I’m not careful, it’s easy for me to spend both all on myself. Look for opportunities to give of your resources, especially to your church family. It’s always worth it. 
3. Impatience. This one gets me a lot. I’m a pretty spontaneous person, and being single makes that a whole lot easier. Everything happens faster when you are the only one making the decisions. On more than one occasion I have found myself frustrated with a friend telling me, “let me get back to you on that; I need to talk to my husband.” There is no one that I have to check with before I make a decision (except for if it’s a decision that I want to make after watching a movie...in that case I have to clear it with Sarah, Laura, and Rachel...but we’ll have to get into that later.) and sometimes it’s hard for me to appreciate the consideration. When you find yourself frustrated that it takes your friend a few hours to get back to you on whether or not they can take a day trip with you, remember that your buddy will have much more fun if they have the peace of mind from being on the same page as their spouse. Your trip will be more enjoyable as a result.