Being Single is Not Second Best

Posted by Jordyne:

I’ve thought a lot about how to dive in to this. My head has been swarming with the various things I look forward to sharing here in the coming months. Rachel began by sharing the how and why she came to being a part of this blog, so I’ll do the same.

I chose to be a part of this blog because I’ve never turned down an invitation to do something exciting with these three women..with the exception of the great TP caper of 2009...but that’s a story for another time. I also wanted to be a part of this blog because though I’ve read some good things about singleness, none of it quite captured my specific viewpoint on the matter. Most of what I’ve read or listened to tends to focus on how to make the most of your time as a single person while you’re waiting, or how to embrace your singleness even if it’s not where you want to be. I haven’t really come across anyone who’s written about how they love being single...unless they are writing about it as the conclusion that they’ve come to after a long time of wrestling with their unhappiness as a single person.

I think an underlying factor that has made the 4 of us close is that none of us view our singleness as a prison sentence and none of us (thank you, Jesus) have gone “husband hunting.” So here’s my perspective: Being single isn’t something I’ve really struggled with. 

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I think marriage is a terrible idea (though I’ve thought that in the past) or that I don’t see the appeal (I do). And I’m also not saying that I never have the longing to get married. It’s just never been my biggest desire, or even my 2nd. The desire to be married will show up in my life from time to time, mostly when other people are talking about it, but it usually never stays longer than a couple of weeks. I think the longest stretch was maybe a couple of months.

I love being single.

At one point, I was so convinced that I wanted to be single my whole life that I seriously considered taking a vow of celibacy. I came across a description of a commitment of celibacy in a Common Prayer book and was so moved at the beauty of it that for weeks I dreamed about my “commitment day” like most girls dream about their wedding day. In the end, I decided against it because I wasn’t certain if God was calling me to be single my whole life, or just a good chunk of it. And there was really no need since nothing would change in my life afterward except for that it would have drawn a lot of awkward attention to myself. (Can you imagine sending out those invitations? Ha!) The place where I’ve currently landed is that I’m going to continue living life exactly as I am. I’m not looking to get married, but I won’t completely rule it out either. As with all things that God gives us in life, I hold it all open-handed. God has given me a really sweet gig in my singleness. But if he should choose to take that away and replace it with a different kind of gift, then I’m up for something new. Well meaning people say things like, “But, you’re alone! Doesn’t that bother you?” 

Here’s the thing about that: I’ve never been alone. God has extravagantly blessed me with a community of friends and family filled with love and purpose. Take the four of us, for example. I am constantly baffled by the rich, fulfilling friendship that Sarah and Rachel and Laura and I have. We get to live on mission together and are closer than even some married couples I know, even though it’s been nearly 5 years since we have all lived in the same city (5, right guys?). We often joke that God sent us to different places because the world couldn’t handle that much concentrated awesomeness in one location. (We think we’re hilarious.)

Anyways, that’s the how and why I came to be a part of this blog. I’m looking forward to seeing what comes of it.